Zombie fan fiction, i'm new so don't hold back

and yess before you even start i say words like folks.....

Chapter Uno
Death is a clever being. I wouldn't find myself with much time to bask in all of the lessons i learned by the mere fact death was near. The number of times that death walked through my neighborhood, but never knocked at my door, still astounds me. Two days of hell is what I went through, but it seemed like forever more. Here's why........


I am Corporal Kale Newers. I was on a PT (Physical Training) run with my four friends at Camp Pendleton, San Diego. The five of us are U.S. Marines stationed in California. While we were here we pretty much had it made because we get paid to shoot weapons, workout, and occasionally beat the hell out of each other. We were just reaching the point of our run where we made it to the beach and let me tell you running on sand is the hardest running you'll do. Then, i would have missed it if Pvt. Chris Tallor (my best friend) hadn't nearly tripped me. A man, far out in the distance of the sea was flailing in the water, gasping for air it seemed.
"Man in the water!" I yelled, taking off my go-fasters and diving in. I could hear my friends behind from their splashing and when i looked up to breathe i saw the man close to me. But when i got there it appeared that he had his bearings almost. His head was above the water, but he was splashing around like a maniac. The thought struck me that he might be mentally subnormal so I tried to speak with him.
"Sir, are you alright? I am going to reach behind you and help bring you to shore, do you understand?" Regardless of what i said he just continued to splash and tried to swim, but couldn't move.
"Kale, this wacho son of a bitch is stuck!" yelled Lance Corporal Jim Wattson. I dove underwater and reached for the man's feet. Indeed he was quite tangled in seaweed and large shells underwater. I swiped at the shells with my hand and yanked his foot free from the seaweed binding it, letting him loose. From where i sit now, that was a big mistake. The second he was freed he jetted from me to Jim and by the time i came up to breathe they were both underwater.
"CHRIST!! He snagged Wattson!" came Lance Corporal Alan Schmidt. Without a word i was again underwater and streamlining towards the two men. I wasn't sure who was who so i barreled into both of them, separating them from each other. Without being aware of who i was grabbing, i grabbed the first body within reach and kicked towards the shore to a depth where i could stand and not have to tread water. When i stood, I saw that it was Jim that I had grabbed and he was bleeding profusely.
"This guy's dangerous, take him down!" I yelled to Schmidt, Chris, and Private First Class (PFC) Preston Hallery. They were all in waist-deep water and the psycho lunged at Chris. He insticntively punched the man in his face and got him in a headlock. He then looked over to me and I gave him a nod. With that acknowledgment, Chris held the man's head underwater. I then diverted my attention to Jim who really needed my help. I assisted him back to shore and ripped off his shirt where the majority of his wounds were. The man had deeply scratched him and bitten him on his left shoulder. I removed my own shirt to use to stem the flow of blood and maybe get him off the beach, but his pulse continued to fade.
"Schmidt! I need you over here!" I turned my head to see if Schmidt was on his way, but when I did i saw that Chris was still struggling with the psychotic man. "Mary, Mother of God it's been three minutes!" I yelled. I couldn't think about the lung capacity because Jim turned his head to the side like it was a struggle to keep it up anymore.
"Don't give up you piece of shit, you'll never make Gunny!" I yelled, putting more pressure on his wounds. Then I was relieved when he looked back up to me, inquisitively. I looked up and sliently thanked god and looked back to Jim. I was shocked as hell when he snarled at me.
"Is he okay?" Alan asked me.
"I don't know, he is--" But what he was I never got to tell Alan, because Jim scratched me on my right cheeck, leaving three deep gashes. I flinched back and he stood and attacked me. I put him in the same choke hold that Chris had the psycho in, the psycho himself was still struggling underwater. I put Jim down hard on the ground and kicked him in the face. I'd had enough. He continued to struggle so I pinned his arms with my knees, his head with my hands, and told Chris:
"Snap the bastard's neck!" Chris followed my order immediately. The man lay facedown in the water for a moment and Chris started to drag him to shore so we might bring him in and explain to the MP what happened, but a moment is all he was down for. Doing the impossible, he recovered from a broken neck and attacked Chris for a second time. Chris' normal reaction would have been to fight, but he wasn't sure he could kill this, whatever it was, bare-handed. He swam to where he knew there where large shells in the water and grabbed one. The man had kept pace with him and just tried to lunge at him when Chris shoved the shell through his chin and all the way through its brain stem. Blood gushed from the wound and over Chris' hands. The man fell facedown for a second time in the water, only this time, after several seconds, didn't move again.
"Stupid fucking son of a bitch!" Chris yelled, wiping blood into the water. My full attention was given back to Jim, who was still struggling and trying to attack me.
"Jim, what the fuck?" I said, but I knew exactly what the fuck. The man must have had some new form of rabies and now Jim had it. But no, how did he survive a broken neck? "Chris are you sure his neck snapped?" I asked him. It was the only explanation I could think of.
"Kale I felt two separate bone framents in my hands! I know he should have been dead and he wasn't which makes me very fucking nervous!" I had no clue what was going on, but whatever the hell it was, I knew we needed to prepare ourselves.

Hmm very nice story, make sure to capitalize your "I"s, and make indents for you paragraphs(use the space bar, tab doesn't work, it automatically selects preview.) The story is good so far.

thank you.. yeah i know i am too used to either not capitalizing them cuzz dont on IM or letting microsoft word take care of it.. and i realized the tab thing too late

you should get someone to proofread it.

Zionmasterben wrote:thank you.. yeah i know i am too used to either not capitalizing them cuzz dont on IM or letting microsoft word take care of it.. and i realized the tab thing too late

lol The fan fiction base here isnt that big and lol were you watching this thread the entire time? I didn't think I would get a response that quick....

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:thank you.. yeah i know i am too used to either not capitalizing them cuzz dont on IM or letting microsoft word take care of it.. and i realized the tab thing too late

lol The fan fiction base here isnt that big and lol were you watching this thread the entire time? I didn't think I would get a response that quick....

hahah no my msn just sent me a ding and i replied.. actually im just kind laying around at my computer talking to people

Zionmasterben wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:thank you.. yeah i know i am too used to either not capitalizing them cuzz dont on IM or letting microsoft word take care of it.. and i realized the tab thing too late

lol The fan fiction base here isnt that big and lol were you watching this thread the entire time? I didn't think I would get a response that quick....

hahah no my msn just sent me a ding and i replied.. actually im just kind laying around at my computer talking to people

lol wow this kinda makes me mad, your FF has almost as many replies as my one "to be a king" although i discontinued it, due to me giving up on FFs and getting banned from HWF finally killed all chances at making new FF or continuing to be a king or necrophobia(great read, not sure if I could pull it up anytime soon)

nice work. just use more punctuation, and it'll be great!

Good job

Giant block of text is giant!

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:thank you.. yeah i know i am too used to either not capitalizing them cuzz dont on IM or letting microsoft word take care of it.. and i realized the tab thing too late

lol The fan fiction base here isnt that big and lol were you watching this thread the entire time? I didn't think I would get a response that quick....

hahah no my msn just sent me a ding and i replied.. actually im just kind laying around at my computer talking to people

lol wow this kinda makes me mad, your FF has almost as many replies as my one "to be a king" although i discontinued it, due to me giving up on FFs and getting banned from HWF finally killed all chances at making new FF or continuing to be a king or necrophobia(great read, not sure if I could pull it up anytime soon)

How did you get banned? lol

Yam Head wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:thank you.. yeah i know i am too used to either not capitalizing them cuzz dont on IM or letting microsoft word take care of it.. and i realized the tab thing too late

lol The fan fiction base here isnt that big and lol were you watching this thread the entire time? I didn't think I would get a response that quick....

hahah no my msn just sent me a ding and i replied.. actually im just kind laying around at my computer talking to people

lol wow this kinda makes me mad, your FF has almost as many replies as my one "to be a king" although i discontinued it, due to me giving up on FFs and getting banned from HWF finally killed all chances at making new FF or continuing to be a king or necrophobia(great read, not sure if I could pull it up anytime soon)

How did you get banned? lol

..... it was me ang, and another dude(cant remember I think it gauz) and we spammed angs stories, necroed, spammed porn links, and i can get back in 167 years or so cant wait!

Death no more wrote:

Yam Head wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:thank you.. yeah i know i am too used to either not capitalizing them cuzz dont on IM or letting microsoft word take care of it.. and i realized the tab thing too late

lol The fan fiction base here isnt that big and lol were you watching this thread the entire time? I didn't think I would get a response that quick....

hahah no my msn just sent me a ding and i replied.. actually im just kind laying around at my computer talking to people

lol wow this kinda makes me mad, your FF has almost as many replies as my one "to be a king" although i discontinued it, due to me giving up on FFs and getting banned from HWF finally killed all chances at making new FF or continuing to be a king or necrophobia(great read, not sure if I could pull it up anytime soon)

How did you get banned? lol

..... it was me ang, and another dude(cant remember I think it gauz) and we spammed angs stories, necroed, spammed porn links, and i can get back in 167 years or so cant wait!

I bet the forums will be a better place by that time!

Yam Head wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Yam Head wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:thank you.. yeah i know i am too used to either not capitalizing them cuzz dont on IM or letting microsoft word take care of it.. and i realized the tab thing too late

lol The fan fiction base here isnt that big and lol were you watching this thread the entire time? I didn't think I would get a response that quick....

hahah no my msn just sent me a ding and i replied.. actually im just kind laying around at my computer talking to people

lol wow this kinda makes me mad, your FF has almost as many replies as my one "to be a king" although i discontinued it, due to me giving up on FFs and getting banned from HWF finally killed all chances at making new FF or continuing to be a king or necrophobia(great read, not sure if I could pull it up anytime soon)

How did you get banned? lol

..... it was me ang, and another dude(cant remember I think it gauz) and we spammed angs stories, necroed, spammed porn links, and i can get back in 167 years or so cant wait!

I bet the forums will be a better place by that time!

lol that was quick im thinking they might have a another noob rush after halo wars 67

Death no more wrote:

Yam Head wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Yam Head wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:

Death no more wrote:

Zionmasterben wrote:thank you.. yeah i know i am too used to either not capitalizing them cuzz dont on IM or letting microsoft word take care of it.. and i realized the tab thing too late

lol The fan fiction base here isnt that big and lol were you watching this thread the entire time? I didn't think I would get a response that quick....

hahah no my msn just sent me a ding and i replied.. actually im just kind laying around at my computer talking to people

lol wow this kinda makes me mad, your FF has almost as many replies as my one "to be a king" although i discontinued it, due to me giving up on FFs and getting banned from HWF finally killed all chances at making new FF or continuing to be a king or necrophobia(great read, not sure if I could pull it up anytime soon)

How did you get banned? lol

..... it was me ang, and another dude(cant remember I think it gauz) and we spammed angs stories, necroed, spammed porn links, and i can get back in 167 years or so cant wait!

I bet the forums will be a better place by that time!

lol that was quick im thinking they might have a another noob rush after halo wars 67

Yep all those warthog rushes and DLC you'll have to pay to play each time will drive them crazy