ITT: Anti-Jokes

How many black men can you fit in a volkswagon? Five, two in the front and three in the back.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. THe employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The horse replies "My son just died of terminal cancer."

or

A horse walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because horses don't belong in a bar.

what's green and invisible?


this lettuce.


what did batman say to robin before they gon in the batmoblie?


get in the batmobile robin!


i have one three massively long, and yet stupidly pointless jokes... i'll see if i can find them

A blonde and a red haired girl are sitting in court. The red haired girl whispers over to her partner in crime "We're stupid, why did we kill him?"
The blonde replies "I know, not a smart idea."

Gauz wrote:A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The horse replies "My son just died of terminal cancer."

lol that was actually funnier than the original form of the joke.

Why do trees grow branches? because the ice cream is on fire.

what?

No no no
That was a lame jokie
Anti-joke version of that is:
Why do trees grow branches? Simple, so that it can then extend the area of which its leaves are, thusly allowing the tree to feed itself.

What did Mr Tumnus say to Peter when he came out of the closet?

Welcome to Narnia.

A man walks into a bar, an observer sees the unconscious man and calls 911 in time to save his life.

Why did the chicken cross the road. He doesn't need a reason, HES A MOTHER FUCKING CHICKEN

czar wrote:A MOTHER FUCKING CHICKEN

Your mom must be desperate then...

Angatar wrote:

czar wrote:A MOTHER FUCKING CHICKEN

Your mom must be desperate then...

no, no.

you should have said:
"in all normality chickens don't have sexual intercourse with humans, there fore it is just a normal chicken.

how many Amish does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, although usually Amish don't use lightbulbs.

A priest, a rabbi, and a scientist walk into a bar, converse over some light drinks, then leave thoroughly content with the evening.