Of the Willing

Of The Willing

Prologue

Moscow, Union of Soviet Socialist Republics

1989

Commander, Eastern Russian Forces, Vladmir Tarasov walked down the hallway toward the Grand Hall, as it was called, where the meeting was surely under way. The word "Grand Hall" stuck in his head as ironic. He had been told that the building they were meeting in was a secured old school.

This had been so because of the unsecurity of the Kremlin, at the moment. Rioting was an aggrogent problem right now. The windows were blacked out and the use by the government was unknown. Tarasov had been here once before, several weeks ago, and had met in this, "Grand Hall" of sorts.

The Hall was no bigger than a classroom and had nothing Grand about it. But, he reasoned, the name was for purposes that he did not know of. Twelve, Kalashnikov-wielding soldiers straightened, stiffened-up, and saluted in reguards to the high-ranking man.

He returned the salute as he turned down the left hallway and was met with more saluting troops. He saluted again and arrived at the doorway at the end of the hall. A soldier opened it for him as he walked in. It closed behind him.

His gaze swept the room. There was three other men inside the room. Two guards who were Captains in rank. And a personal friend of his. Commander, Western Forces, Yugi Lovadonia stood up, a grin stretching ear-to-ear. He spoke.

"Tarasov! How I missed you, my comrade! Please, sit down." He motioned to the chair beside Tarasov.

Yugi sat down across from him. He was around 6' 0", had black hair and gray eyes. He was a overweight friend of Tarasov's; the only one he had. Most of Tarasov's other friends were his troops, who were kept in the best of shape.

"Now, Vlad. I have important news for you." He sat alittle closer now and slid a minilia folder across the desk.

"The Kremlin has a job for you. I'm aware that they ordered you to step up training for all men last month." His eyes stared Tarasov down.

Tarasov looked at Yugi, then the folder, and slowly brought it to his chest. He started to undo the top sealing tape as Yugi ordered the two guards out. The door closed behind them.

The tape was off and he pulled the documents out. It revealed the United States Eastern coast in several dozen pictures with marked positions of known US coastal defenses. A paper documet followed. Tarasov's eyes lit up.

"...Y-Yugi...?"

The man stood up and turned around to look out the window. He would have seen the rolling landscape coupled with patroling soldiers, rolling tanks, and the shouts of officers. He turned around to face Tarasov.

"I was informed yesterday of my objective. It's to take NATO forces in Germany by surprise and reach France in three weeks of intial attack." He looked a bit more serious with each growing minute.

"...And what of my objective?" Tarasov asked, now not caught of guard.

Yugi exhaled deeply. "Continue training your men. You will not and can not attack until we have got all of NATO responding in Europe. This comes from the top of the Kremlin. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir."

Yugi sat back down and pulled out some paperwork.

"Time is running general. Your men will need preperation. I am confident that we will soon paint this world in the red it deserves."

Tarasov gathered his papers and put them back in the folder. He saluted Yugi and left the room. He walked down the halls, passing each and everyone of the soldiers that knew not of what was to come.

He left the school building and stepped carefully on the ice-bared steps to the street. His ride and escort was waiting for him. He entered the back of the street car and was followed by several armored attack vehicles to ensure his safety.

Tarasov pondered for a moment on the information he was given and how relieved Yugi had been to have his. How could he be so relieved? We're risking the Rodina itself in this operation!

He pulled out the paper document once again and read it more deeply. He read the sentance that caused him to get a rock in his gut.

"Cut off the head of the snake and the rest of it will die."

I like it a lot, keep up the good work

Good job Ruski!

This is even better than your last one. Keep it going.

Interesting idea.

I look forward to reading more.

This may sound a little nit picky, but I'm just correcting the issues that you seem to have missed. Don't worry though, I appreciate reading something on here that isn't Halo fan fic, so keep it up.



So, absolute comma spam. Go easy on them. For instance:

"Twelve, Kalashnikov-wielding soldiers straightened, stiffened-up, and saluted in reguards to the high-ranking man."
Remove the comma after "Twelve". It's superfluous.

"Tarasov had been here once before, several weeks ago, and had met in this, "Grand Hall" of sorts"

Grammatically, that doesn't work. Consider the nesting of your commas before you place more than 2 or 3 into a sentence, as you can create confusion. Remove the comma before "Grand Hall" and you should be right.

Aggrogent is not a word, and I'm not sure which word you are trying to use.
Try replacing it with "prolific" or "abundant" or "rife".

Unsecurity should be insecurity.

"He was a overweight" should be "He was an overweight"

"There was three other men inside the room. Two guards who were Captains in rank. And a personal friend of his. "

Firstly, it should be "there were", as there is more than one man inside the room, therefore plural, and hence were instead of was.

were = plural
was = singular
are = plural
is = singular

And also with that sentence, you should consider changing it to

"There were three other men inside the room: two guards, both who were captains in rank, and a personal friend of his. "

One thing that I can suggest to you that will help you a lot with small typos is to turn spell-checking on for forms in Firefox. It's incredibly useful, and it has word suggestions if you make a typo.

Otherwise, the plot seems interesting, and it's not too badly written otherwise, apart from some nasty cliches but I guess they're unavoidable. Interested in part 2.

Ziggy wrote:This may sound a little nit picky, but I'm just correcting the issues that you seem to have missed. Don't worry though, I appreciate reading something on here that isn't Halo fan fic, so keep it up.



So, absolute comma spam. Go easy on them. For instance:

"Twelve, Kalashnikov-wielding soldiers straightened, stiffened-up, and saluted in reguards to the high-ranking man."
Remove the comma after "Twelve". It's superfluous.

"Tarasov had been here once before, several weeks ago, and had met in this, "Grand Hall" of sorts"

Grammatically, that doesn't work. Consider the nesting of your commas before you place more than 2 or 3 into a sentence, as you can create confusion. Remove the comma before "Grand Hall" and you should be right.

Aggrogent is not a word, and I'm not sure which word you are trying to use.
Try replacing it with "prolific" or "abundant" or "rife".

Unsecurity should be insecurity.

"He was a overweight" should be "He was an overweight"

"There was three other men inside the room. Two guards who were Captains in rank. And a personal friend of his. "

Firstly, it should be "there were", as there is more than one man inside the room, therefore plural, and hence were instead of was.

were = plural
was = singular
are = plural
is = singular

And also with that sentence, you should consider changing it to

"There were three other men inside the room: two guards, both who were captains in rank, and a personal friend of his. "

One thing that I can suggest to you that will help you a lot with small typos is to turn spell-checking on for forms in Firefox. It's incredibly useful, and it has word suggestions if you make a typo.

Otherwise, the plot seems interesting, and it's not too badly written otherwise, apart from some nasty cliches but I guess they're unavoidable. Interested in part 2.

Oh so you flip out at my story, which mind you, isn't even Halo, and not even my prologue (maybe you should read my entire post before trolling) but at Ruski's (no offense Ruski, it's great) you think it's the best thing since bottled water

Grenade he just gave you advice

Mate, calm the fuck down. I simply gave advice and suggestions. It's your choice whether or not you take them in, but there's no need to react so aggressively and with such hostility.

And oh yeah, suggesting changes to a fanfic is trolling. I see now. You aren't going to get anywhere in life if you can't accept criticism at all. And if you'd checked the times, I posted this in here before I posted in yours, so clearly it's not referring to yours at all.

It seems like a lot of you are just so keen to jump on any of my posts in this sub-forum and dismiss them as either trolling or unjustified abuse, when they are neither of those. I give advice, suggestions, and criticism. You can either take it on, or not.

Ziggy wrote:Mate, calm the fuck down. I simply gave advice and suggestions. It's your choice whether or not you take them in, but there's no need to react so aggressively and with such hostility.

And oh yeah, suggesting changes to a fanfic is trolling. I see now. You aren't going to get anywhere in life if you can't accept criticism at all. And if you'd checked the times, I posted this in here before I posted in yours, so clearly it's not referring to yours at all.

It seems like a lot of you are just so keen to jump on any of my posts in this sub-forum and dismiss them as either trolling or unjustified abuse, when they are neither of those. I give advice, suggestions, and criticism. You can either take it on, or not.

I'm just confused as to why you criticize something that isnt anywhere near finished. Other than that, I dont mind.

Because I'm telling him that he should consider that before writing the entire story. If he writes the entire story with the character the way he is, and that emphasis on "regular guy turned action hero", the end result in my eyes, and I'm sure others, wouldn't be as good. So, what I was suggesting was that he take that into consideration, and change the character slightly if he wants to follow that plot line, considering that it is a highly overused theme.

oh dear, this doesn't look familiar.... and Ruski i really like it also i'll try and comment on your other one if your still writing it.

lol Rizzle.

Thanks and yes, I am still working on my other one.

Pre-Chapter One

Six Months Later (Events that have occured)


- Russian officers arrive in Cuba; Cuba's military is trained extensively and full support is gained

- Medium-Range Nuclear Weapons placed secretly in Cuba; Soviet submarines position themselves in American waters

- Mexico erupts into revolution; Soviet-supporters win power; Mexico is a Soviet satillite nation

- Honduras falls to the USSR; El Savador falls aswell

- Tensions of suspision rise; NATO falls apart

- Canada and United States form 'Alliance Pact' in which both will aid the other in the occurence of an attack; Canada goes into economic crisis

- Commercial Airline jets out of service are vastly purchased by unnamed businessmen

- Final preperation in all areas done; Operation: Красный Рассвет begins

Ohhhh I like this very much, I hope that you continue it comrade