The Rain

(Hey an idea I'm gonna follow through on)
April 6th, 2013- an anomaly occured that forever changed the world. All of the world's clouds came together into a giant thunderstorm that covered every inch of the world. Literally every inch of earth was engulfed in what seemed like infinite shadow. The clouds stayed together for 5 hours and for every second thunder shook the earth. After exactly 5 hours of constant rain and lightning, the cloud split and all was well.

Experts called it the strangest anomaly of all time. But it was only the day after when the true secret was uncovered. In every continent there was one hole that had been burned through the ground. No one dared to enter any of them. People just decided to move on from the occurence and just started to live normally again.

May 6th, 2013- The world shuddered with terror as the clouds moved together once again. The religious extremists called it the final day. But this day was different. The clouds only covered their specific continents, leaving the oceans with the normal day and night cycle while the land was covered in shadow. Everyone hid in their homes. North America was the first to notice the new anomaly. Dark shapes were coming out of the holes. The only way to see them though, was through light. But at this point, the most light that people had was the lightning.

Welcome to the world of The Rain. The people featured in this were the bravest and the best during the weeks of the storm. They were the ones who stood up and fought the dark shapes that were coming out of the holes and saved the lives of many. And in the ultimate sacrifice, gave their lives for the human race.

Chapter 1- The Beginning of the End

Ash rained slowly from the sky. Lucas took out his last bottle of water and let the last drops drip down into his dry throat. He had been walking endlessly for days, searching for the end to the horror that he was forced to face with each passing minute. His life had been stripped from him. His family, his job, his friends. Everything was gone.

His pace slowed, and tears started to fall from his sunken eyes. He trudged a few more steps before he finally fell to his knees. Clouds of ash puffed from the earth as his knees hit the earth. His tears made lines down his face and carried ash off of him.

He stayed there, head hung. This was his end. He wouldn't be able to carry on. His hand slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of his wife and daughter. Tears fell onto the grimy, crinkled picture.

"I'll be with you soon guys. Just wait for me," Lucas said softly as a small grin spread across his face.

He let the picture fall to the ground and reached into his back pocket. He grasped his revolver and pulled it out of the pocket.

"I love you baby," he said as he raised the gun to his head.

He pulled the trigger... but there was nothing. Just a click. Lucas pulled the trigger again, nothing. He frantically took the revolver and checked the ammo. Fully loaded.

"It's not your time Lucas," a voice said from in front of Lucas.

He looked up and around him. The dark figures encircled him.

"Let me just fucking die," Lucas groaned.

"You may have a choice over your fate Lucas, but we get to choose when you have that choice," the voice said, "this is on a whole different scale than you realize or understand."

"I don't give a fucking damn about what I do or don't understand! You've taken everything from me! Let me die on my own damn terms."

The voice didn't respond for a minute. "No. Now get up. You have some more walking to do. Don't worry, it's not long."

The creatures split in front of Lucas and revealed a white doorway that stood on it's own fifty feet away.

"What happens if I go through it?" Lucas asked.

"You're given your choice. But like I said, you fail to understand the scale of the choice you can make," the voice responded.

Lucas looked around him at the dark figures, then looked down to the fallen picture of his wife and daughter. He picked it up and stood. He walked towards the doorway. When he got to it, he stopped and look down at the picture one more time. A single tear fell onto it.

"I'm coming, just hold on," he said and he stepped through into the light.

Chapter 2- The Loss: Cleveland, Ohio, May 6th, 5:00 AM

"We need to talk, Lucas," Sara said.

Lucas' gaze didn't separate from the 5 o'clock morning news on the television. "What about?" he asked.

"Money troubles."

"Well I'm sick of talking about money troubles."

Sara let out an angry huff at Lucas. He had been trying to ignore their problems for a week, using the same excuse every time. "Well I'm sick of you avoiding this conversation."

Lucas looked at Sara and sighed. He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. "Fuck this," he thought.

Their argument went on for an hour.

"You need to get another job or we're going to get kicked out on the street!" Sara said.

Lucas got up from the kitchen table, pushing his chair back violently. He grabbed a cup from the counter and threw it against the wall, "I'm already working 2 part time jobs and a weekend job, how the hell am I supposed to work another?!"

The room was silent. Tears started to stream down Sara's face. Laura's voice broke the silence, "Mommy, why is Daddy angry?" Sara and Lucas both, startled, looked back at the doorway to the kitchen to see Laura, peeking frighteningly over her teddy bear that she held tight against her chest.

"It's nothing sweetie... How long have you been there?"

"I heard Daddy say a bad word and then throw that cup."

Lucas put his hand over his face, "Crap... I must have scared the shit out of her." he thought. "I'm sorry honey, Daddy just got a little angry. It won't happen again I promise," he said, addressing Laura's fright. He turned to Sara, "I need some time alone alright? I'll cool down and come back."

"Alright. I love you."

He looked over at the broken cup, ashamed. "I love you too."

Lucas walked out of the apartment and left the building. He got in his car and drove.


It had been thirty minutes, and Lucas had finally decided to turn around and head home. It was almost 7. He need to get home to get ready for work. Lucas looked out of the driver's side window to see he morning sun coming over the horizon, it calmed him. He stopped at a red light and looked back out of his window. He didn't find the morning sun. He found a massive storm in the far distance coming towards the city. The clouds were coming back.

"Oh no," he muttered. He wanted to get home before the clouds covered Cleveland.

The light was still red. Lucas tapped his foot impatiently against the floor of his car. Seconds passed by like minutes. Static started to come over his radio. Annoyed by it, he turned it off. He looked back at the clouds, anxious to get home and sheltered. The radio turned back on.

"Lucas," a voice came said through the static.

Lucas practically almost peed his pants in fright. "Jesus!" he exclaimed.

The static cleared and a voice came through, it was rushed and worried, "I need you to listen. You don't understand this right now. You need to remember what I'm saying. You need to walk as far as you can when the time comes. You need to walk. When you stop, you must not give into their offer. You must sacrifice. I gave in, and I have paid the price. I don't have much time until they..."

The voice cut off and gunshots rang out, then stopped, and the sound of something heavy hitting the floor came over the radio. Then there was silence. Lucas stared wide eyed at the radio. His breath was heavy. He waited for anything else that might come out of the radio.

A roar came over the radio, "DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Lucas' car lurched forward rapidly right into the traffic of the street. An SUV slammed into the driver side of Lucas' car. The force flipped his car and sent his spiraling down the street.


Lucas regained consciousness. His vision was fuzzy and his head pounded. He blinked rapidly to clear his vision and looked around. He was lying on a stretcher in an ambulance, with a EMS guy next to him.

The EMS man looked at him, "Hey, my name is Dave, you've been in a car accident, you feeling alright?"

"Yeah I'm okay. Do you know what time it is?"

Dave looked at his watch, "7:10." He looked out of the window on the back of the ambulance.

"Is the storm here yet?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah, it's been around for maybe 5 minutes? It's already pouring down rain. Almost pitch black out there except for the street lights. Do you have any family? We need to notify them that you've been in an accident and which hospital you're being transported to."

"My wife and kid are at our apartment about 3 blocks down. The phone lines are down in our area so you'll have to send somebody down there. It's called 'Terry's Apartments'. Room number is 5A."

"Alright, thanks."

Dave turned around and started writing the information down on a paper. Lucas needed to get home. There was no way that he'd leave Sara and Laura home during this. He sat up slowly, his back ached. He forgot about the pain and hopped off the stretcher.

"Sir sit down! You've been injured and we need to assess those injuries!" Dave exclaimed.

Lucas ignored him and pushed open the ambulance door and started running down the street towards home. The rain was coming down hard. It felt like hail.

Lucas ran into the apartment building and unlocked his door. "Sara! Laura! I'm home!"

There was no answer. Lucas walked through the kitchen and out into the living room. "Sara? Laura? Anyone here?"

He walked into the hallway that the bedrooms were in. Blood stains were smeared on the walls and floor. Lucas ran into his bedroom. Sara laid on the bed. Her throat was slit and blood stained the bed sheets and the floor. Her dead eyes were wide in terror.

Lucas stumbled across the room, gasping for air. "No... no... no no no no no!" he muttered. He could barely get the words to come out of his mouth. Tears poured down his face. He was numb all over. He stood there over Sara's dead body just staring. The entire apartment was silent. Lucas walked out of the bedroom and down the bloody hallway into Laura's room. She was laying on the ground, blood covering her body. She was still breathing.

Lucas knelt down beside her, "Honey..."

Tears fell from his face onto her dying body.

"Daddy? Daddy are you there? My... my stomach hurts," Laura weakly said.

Lucas looked at her wounds. Stab wounds covered her small stomach. Blood covered her pajamas.

"Daddy? I feel cold. Can you tell mommy to get my blanket out of the closet?"

"It's alright honey, I'll get it."

Lucas got the blanket and laid it over Laura.

"Thank you daddy. I love you."

Lucas choked up and could barely speak, "I love you too sweetie."

Laura's eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. A smile spread across her face, "I... I can see mommy."

Her eyes closed. Lucas felt her wrist. She was dead.

Lucas turned around and threw up. He had left them. He left them unprotected. He had practically killed them. He stood up and walked through the hallway slowly. Lucas felt no emotion. He only felt cold. He walked into the living room and laid down on the couch. He cried until he passed out.[b]

Grenade, it's got a good basis, write what you have to write, and I assure you people will give you constructive criticism. Ziggy is just an asshole because the only thing that he has to do in this saddening world is get on this site and take the time to critique you on your writing in a nonproffesional way.

JB wrote:Grenade, it's got a good basis, write what you have to write, and I assure you people will give you constructive criticism. Ziggy is just an asshole because the only thing that he has to do in this saddening world is get on this site and take the time to critique you on your writing in a nonproffesional way.

So criticism that isn't entirely positive and "YOU'RE THE BEST! NICE WORK, SON!" is unprofessional?

Ziggy wrote:

JB wrote:Grenade, it's got a good basis, write what you have to write, and I assure you people will give you constructive criticism. Ziggy is just an asshole because the only thing that he has to do in this saddening world is get on this site and take the time to critique you on your writing in a nonproffesional way.

So criticism that isn't entirely positive and "YOU'RE THE BEST! NICE WORK, SON!" is unprofessional?

Only when it sounds like your talking down to the person in question.

well personally ziggy i feel like you are being overly antagonistic; there are some solid ideas within this work and whats more it is indeed a creative process and presumably mr grenade plans to refine his work stylistically over time. Good work Mr Grenade I value your contributions

I'm beginning to like this guy ^

Also: I like the concept Grenade, so you better work on this story and finish it no matter how long it takes!

RX wrote:I'm beginning to like this guy ^

Also: I like the concept Grenade, so you better work on this story and finish it no matter how long it takes!

Thanks RX. I've been working on it since I put this up. And also thanks halosucks_5000.

this is looking to be a good read if you carry on.

but... isnt halosucks really ziggy? because ziggy said he said he used this account. Am i sensing another "kislany" here?

I was a bit worried with the beginning but when I read it again it seemed to flow a lot better. Nice Grenade.

Grenade! I know who you are! Haha! Hey, it's a great concept, proud of you for branching out, too. Your synopsis read sort of oddly, but most synopses do, so no complaints.

Heck, I just got done writing out some seven synopses of my own, trying to sort out an older story that was far too convoluted to remain as one book. Trust me, those all sound odd, too. I look forward to what this yields... if I know you, it should be awesome!

-Etsharrin Hopsarrith

First chapter is up. Sorry for the wait, I had wrote about 6 different beginnings and have been debating how to start it.

Was pretty good.

Chapter 2 is up. Please leave a comment if you read. I'd like some criticism on this.

The beginning seemed a little cliche and played out more like a movie. But despite some slight rushed sentences in the middle, the rest was pretty good. I was a little disturbed by the ending, but I'm looking forward to more.