Cardinal Rules of the Internet

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Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by PiEdude on Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:13 am

The First Cardinal Rule of the Internet:
There are no women on the Internet. Assume everyone is a man.

The Second Cardinal Rule of the Internet:
Everyone else is a potential rapist. Give no personal information.

The Third Cardinal Rule of the Internet:
Never get into a relationship over the Internet. See rules one and two.

Note: These are simply broad generalizations about the Internet, usually invented by the Internet as a whole. These rules do not, in any way, necessarily represent my thoughts or opinions. They are for comedic purposes only.


Last edited by PiEdude on Sun Dec 19, 2010 9:36 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Nocbl2 on Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:28 pm

The Second Cardinal Rule of the Internet: There are no people on the Internet.
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Vigil on Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:49 pm

The Third Cardinal Rule of the Internet: You don't tell anyone about the Internet.

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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by BBJynne on Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:54 pm

None of those are true.

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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by MrX on Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:55 pm

there are women on the internet... and they expect us...
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Gauz on Sun Mar 28, 2010 3:16 pm

The fourth cardinal rule: The cake is a lie
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by PiEdude on Sun Mar 28, 2010 3:54 pm

BBJynne wrote:None of those are true.

sargentbilco wrote:there are women on the internet... and they expect us...

Read the fine print.
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by BBJynne on Sun Mar 28, 2010 3:59 pm

I didn't even notice it was there until you mentioned it

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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Ringleader on Sun Mar 28, 2010 4:17 pm

:face:
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by MrX on Sun Mar 28, 2010 4:44 pm

i did read ;) its just i was stating how it is
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Rasq'uire'laskar on Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:38 pm

The Fifth Cardinal Rule:

The average IQ of a person commenting on a Youtube video is given by

I= Sqrt(10000(W-10)/N)

Where I is the average intelligence of the poster, W is the average number of correctly spelled words per comment on the video, and N is the number of people who commented on the video.

The Sixth Cardinal Rule:

The probability that an asinine political view/conspiracy theory will be brought out in Youtube comments is given by

M=C(H/e^(I))

Where M is the number of moronic political comments/conspiracy theories that betray the fact that the poster has slightly less than the intelligence of a fried egg, H is the number of hits to that video, I is the average intelligence of the posters (See Cardinal Rule Number Five) and C is a constant that depends on the content of the video.

The Seventh Cardinal Rule:

Name an animal, or any combination of two or three animals. There is anthropomorphic art of it, probably hosted on Deviantart. You just have to look hard enough.

The Eighth Cardinal Rule:

Select any picture of an anthropomorphic animal hosted on Deviantart.
There is furry porn of it hosted elsewhere. No exceptions. If the artist doesn't make said picture, then one of his fans did.


Last edited by Rasq'uire'laskar on Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Barbbachello on Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:40 pm

Rule 34

If it exists there is porn of it
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by KristallNacht on Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:46 pm

Rule 35

If porn of it doesn't exist, it will
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Divine Virus on Sun Mar 28, 2010 6:06 pm

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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by TNine on Sun Mar 28, 2010 6:45 pm

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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Carlos Spicyweiner on Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:02 pm

The Ninth Cardinal Rule:

There are people who actually spend their entire day posting in topics like this...
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Ukurse on Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:09 pm

The Tenth Cardinal Rule:

Everyone on the internet is homosexual. (Or maybe that is just me)
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Barbbachello on Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:12 pm

On the internet men are men, women are men and children are FBI agents
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Divine Virus on Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:56 pm


That is all!
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by PiEdude on Fri Aug 06, 2010 10:09 am

Added a new one.
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Vtrooper on Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:00 pm

11th Cardinal Rule of the Internet

Haters gonna Hate, no matter what
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by dragoon9105 on Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:51 pm

12th Cardinal Rule of the Internet

Chuck Norris Overrides every rule previous and after this one

13th Cardinal Rule of the Internet
the Number 13 pwns and everyone who doesn't use it is a homo-sexual
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Gauz on Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:00 pm

Please refer to the tenth cardinal rule Dragoon. In response to your thirteenth
YouCurse wrote:The Tenth Cardinal Rule:

Everyone on the internet is homosexual. (Or maybe that is just me)
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Vtrooper on Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:11 pm

Rule 14

Not every link is clean, so Keep It Clean and use Anti-Virus softwear(sp)
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

Post by Nocbl2 on Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:53 pm

Rule 15

The /b/tards will zerg rush you if you insult them.
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Re: Cardinal Rules of the Internet

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