iron man 2

KrAzY wrote:2 is fun to watch but gets really slow at some points... and if you actually analyze the plot it stops making any sense and is filled with more holes than a mole ridden field

the 1st one was much better and more fun to watch

• When I show up for a senate hearing, I will make sure that I've got a presentation prepared by the best speechwriters in the country, so I don't look like a complete moron in my first thirty seconds of screen time. And I'll know how to point out the difference between a prosthetic and a weapon of mass destruction.
  
• I will also have an EMP gun pointed at Tony, to cut short whatever little gadget he's going to pull out to make himself look like Mr. Cool. And I'll have thugs waiting out the door to jump him and retrieve that little phone gadget. Suck it, Apple!
  
• When it comes to the suit prototypes, by the way, I will recall that there is no reason, whatsoever, for the torso to be able to pivot 180 degrees from true. That is not a feature that the driver needs or desires, and that's not a feature that will make it to beta testing.
  
• About my R&D: I'm in the arms business. If my weapons suck, I will figure out why instead of trying to bring down my rival by other means. If the manufacturing is shoddy, I will fire the workers, pack up, and move everything nach Deutschland. If my engineers are incompetent, I will hire new engineers fresh out of MIT, CalTech, and the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning.
  
• The new engineers will be paid out of pocket so their consciences are clean, but the old engineering team will be harvested for the organ market. $100,000 dollars a kidney, baby!
  
• I will not try to impress a Russian by masturbating my ego, greeting him like an old frat buddy in a blindingly clean aircraft hangar (Which has obviously never been used before) with a decadent Gulf-V behind me, a retinue of butlers to bring in wine, rare fish and organic ice cream for me. I'm quite sure he won't be impressed, and I'll come across as a rich jerkoff.
  
• In addition, I'm quite sure he'd prefer a decent porterhouse steak and good Vodka to the fish.
  
• I will also never eat organic ice cream. I know exactly what goes into organic foods.
  
• I will make sure I know what motivates the Evil Genius. If he wants revenge against Tony Stark or some other superhero, I will agree to give him whatever the Hell he needs to build his army of Doom, provided he leaves behind detailed schematics of whatever Doomdrones or Splazers he's building. If he wants money, I will point out that stock options and joint ownership of patents will get him rich faster than knocking off banks.
  
• I'll also point out that stock options don't result in getting your face kicked in by a web-slinging wiseass.
  
• If the Evil Genius displays an ability to hack the administrative network that governs the weapons program I had, I will keep in mind that a little control is a good thing, and have a new computer security system built by the best computer business that isn't named "Cyberdyne".
  
• I won't cut corners. If he wants his bird, I'll be thankful that he isn't asking for ten virgins a week or a million dollars an hour, and get him his #$%@ing bird.
  
• There will be a long interview, where I spell out what I need, find out what he can give me, and plan out how I can sell it to the military. If he's going to work for me, we'd better be on the same page.
  
• I also won't rant about being given drones when when I wanted suits. That's a hell of a lot more than I had a week ago!
  
• My drones will be outfitted with superior AI. This means that, instead of chasing after Stark and fighting on his ground, they will massacre civilians and force him to come to them.
  
• As a corollary to the previous, if the drones take more than .002 seconds to identify the difference between a toddler wearing an Iron Man mask and the real guy, the programmer had better learn how to live on one kidney and half a liver.
  
• I will also remember that a supersonic superhero can outrace a hypersonic missile and dodge Star Wars lasers. Keeping that in mind, my drones won't be outfitted with AAA, but lasers. Real lasers that are invisible in open air and cut steel apart like a buzz saw through soft cheddar cheese, none of this glowing red or slower-than-a-speeding-bullet crap.
  
• In addition, they will not fly through parking garages and wireframe models of the world. They will fly around and shoot explosives inwards, and let Stark dodge the concrete hunks and flying cars.
  
• Standard operating procedure for the drones will be to saturate the area the heroes are standing in with high explosives and EMP rounds, before landing in waves.
  
• They will land in an arc where the heroes will be caught in the cross-fire, not a ring around the heroes. The latter action grants heroes a +15 bonus to their dodge check. And results in destroyed drones.
  
• The one feature that won't be jettisoned is the drones' strange incapability of running out of ammo. I'm not sure how it works, but I recognize a useful design accident when I see it.
  
• The drones will make the engagement short and sweet, and break off if it lasts more than thirty seconds. Any longer just makes the heroes that much more likely to pull out the Great Big Kaboom that finishes of the army of Doom.
  
• The reactors on the drones won't beep and turn red before detonating. Instead, a recording of an Apple shutting down will play, and special filters over the glass will counteract any shift in hue.
  
• Better yet, those reactors will be embedded in the center of the drone. Whatever's on the outside will be a cunning LED replica. Those things are probably bullet magnets anyway.
  
• By the way, if my bunker-buster missiles fail to blow an iron suit apart, they won't fail because they can't penetrate an inch of hardened steel. They will fail because they penetrated an inch of hardened steel, various structural and hydraulic components, a human body, more hydraulic components, more armor, and twenty-five meters of open air before detonating.

KrAzY wrote:also the shield hasn't been created yet, as obviously he wouldn't have been discovering adamantium if Captain America was already running around with an adamantium shield

CivBase wrote:

Where can I get one of those nifty ferris wheel things?