The World

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The World

Post by Lord Pheonix on Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:49 am

God is good, God is great
our souls we pray for him to take

We all think the world is happy because of one little tree,
but somewhere out there is a man being killed over a PS3

Little boys run around without shoes on their feet,
and little girls die of starvation out on the street.

but here we sit stuffing our faces full with food,
and wearing shoes depending on what is our mood.

Crooks go out and steal from charity,
and they walk away all the more merrily.

Women are beaten, killed and raped
starting from what begun as one harmless date.

Thousands die from this cold winter chill
due to not having a place to call home still

Millions have been killed in the time gone past
all because they worshiped in a way we called daft.

Entire races wiped out with a grin
be it for land, money, power or the color of their skin.

Nations at war not over whats wrong or whats right,
but because they want their wallets just a bit more tight.

We all know its coming, it's quite easy to predict,
won't be quiet till this whole worlds blown to shit.

Bombs will be dropped, mushroom clouds el' fill up the sky,
but not a single soul left will be here to cry.

God is good, and God is great,
Why has he left us to this fate?

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Re: The World

Post by Gauz on Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:16 am

Ooooh, nice, I like it. I don't often read poems, however, this one is nice Very Happy Represents the negative side of life, and reality.

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Re: The World

Post by Lord Pheonix on Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:21 am

One of a few I wrote.




All my other ones ended on a good note, so I tried to make a depressing one.




I really liked the "God is good" thing myself lol.

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Re: The World

Post by Gauz on Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:24 am

I liked the irony of it, it set the mood more.

I thought that part contrasted with the rest of the poem, making it effective at expressing your point better. The "God is Good" part I mean, like you said.

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Re: The World

Post by XNate02 on Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:01 am

Nice

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Re: The World

Post by CivBase on Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:28 am

A decent poem.

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Re: The World

Post by Divine Virus on Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:33 am

It's more then decent, it's actually pretty damn good.

Your word choice is what makes it a good read. Smile

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Re: The World

Post by Offensive Bias on Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:24 am

I can say I absolutely loved it.

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Re: The World

Post by The Pariah on Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:02 pm



????????????

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Re: The World

Post by PiEdude on Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:55 pm

Fuck it.

"ALLAH AkBAR!"

*suicide bombs thread*

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Re: The World

Post by Lord Pheonix on Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:35 pm

Yeah after I wrote it I read it and said



"damn, this is pretty good" lol




Out of all my poems its the one that took me the most time, you wouldn't believe how many corrections I had to make to it before I felt it was done.

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Re: The World

Post by Angatar on Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:36 pm

Pessimism makes me happy. Very good, Lord Pheonix.

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Re: The World

Post by Death no more on Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:25 am

Amazing I love it, wish it could fit into my signature =/

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Re: The World

Post by CivBase on Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:47 am

RockaHolicGameR wrote:It's more then decent, it's actually pretty damn good.

Your word choice is what makes it a good read. Smile

Well, I thought he was kind of cheating in some areas to get it to rhyme. Yah, I'm getting picky, but I don't consider a house flooded with sewage great because there is less crap than there is in the house next door. Sure, that analogy is harsh, but it's no less true.

It was good, a nice read, but certainly not something I'd pay to read. If he worked on his writing, he may become a great poet some day. Maybe. I don't know, it all depends. So yah, I'm sticking with decent. His shallow stab at Christianity certainly didn't help his cause in my eyes, but this isn't the place for that sort of discussion.

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Re: The World

Post by Divine Virus on Fri Jan 08, 2010 7:14 am

You would pay for poems? lol

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